Spring Cleaning Your Relationship-by Lydia Waruszynski, M.Ed

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As the temperature rises and the sun graces us with its warmth, many of us dive into the age-old tradition of spring cleaning, bidding farewell to the remnants of winter and making room for the freshness of spring and new beginnings. But, from where I sit, spring cleaning isn't just about dusting off shelves and organizing closets; it's also an opportunity to declutter the mind and sweep away the sticky cobwebs of our thoughts, habits and emotions that no longer serve us, and start anew. Just as we tidy up our living spaces, relationships benefit from a little sprucing up, too.  We need to recognize the mental congestion that accumulates – like those pesky misunderstandings and deep-seated resentments, and let’s not forget the disguised "I'm-fine-but-not-really" moments, right? Sound familiar?  Like a cluttered attic, together we can clear away the neglected debris and make space for a fresher, more vibrant connection…if we aspire to!


In life, we often get lost in routines, trying to bring order to the ‘hustle 'n bustle’ of every day. Normal. But in this quest for balance, we might overlook the silent accumulation of mental clutter that shapes our thoughts and emotions. Life gets busy, and sooner than we realize we’re dealing with emotional dust bunnies and unspoken feelings.  Picture it as dust settling in the corners of our minds. Over time, these layers of mental dust can dim our clarity and hinder our ability to navigate life together. We might even take it for granted that we don't need to check in with each other because we're too busy, allowing things to pile up between us. However, without intentional communication and quality time together, issues accumulate and emotional distance grows. Small disagreements go unresolved, unexpressed needs fester, and the intimacy we once shared begins to fade. That’s why a bit of spring cleaning, a chance for a redo, is a good idea. It clears out the emotional cobwebs and brings a fresh new perspective to our bond.




I often tell my clients that when it comes to life and love, we don’t really see things as they are, rather we see things more as we are. Most of the time we aren’t even conscious of it. Our emotions shape our perception of reality. For example, if we're weighed down by sadness, the world may appear washed out, lacking the vibrancy it holds during happier times, while anxiety can make simple tasks seem so much more insurmountable. And simmering anger…well, that can cast a shadow on everything, tainting all of our perceptions and interactions. Our vulnerabilities, therefore,  become the filter through which we perceive reality, often distorting it altogether. So, unless we're communicating openly, worries and stressors often act as invisible dust, clouding our vision. These unspoken tensions can create distance and diminish the vitality of our relationship. It’s only by embracing our feelings and fostering honest dialogue, that we may reduce the emotional clutter and rediscover the intimacy and closeness we desire.



​To kickstart your own mental spring cleaning, take a moment to think about these questions:

• What emotional clutter am I holding onto?

 

• How do my current emotions influence my perception?

 

• Can I identify recurring patterns in my thinking?

 

• Which emotions or vulnerabilities should I acknowledge or let go of?

 

• How do my daily habits contribute to my mental clutter?

 

• Am I open to vulnerability as a source of strength?

 

• What steps can I take to support clarity and resilience?

 

• Where else in my life can I apply mindful spring cleaning?

         (Ie., family dynamics, friendships, work relationships, or personal habits and routines)

• Do I struggle to separate my emotions from external influences?

 

• What small intentional changes can I make today for a positive and productive mental space?

And once you've dusted off those thoughts, why not share them with your partner? It might just feel like a breath of fresh air!


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