Stories not only reflect life, they also help shape life by Lydia Waruszynski, M.Ed

When you think about it, our lives are made up of stories. We all walk around with personal narratives related to our experiences with people, places and events. Some stories are happy, some are sad, some are incredible, some are just plain ordinary. Some stories we share, others we store privately. Regardless, stories give us meaning and identity and even help organize and understand our lives.


Some of the best stories -and life lessons- come from our family of origin. Our family of origin is the place we grew up in- the people largely responsible for shaping our beliefs, values, roles and rules as well as guiding our own relationship choices. For better or for worse, it is here where we first learned about love and trust through communication and emotional expression. Sharing our childhood memories, including the painful ones, not only affords us self-reflection but can actually provide us with a sharper lens through which to view love and relationships and even help us evolve to tell a different story, if need be. In marriage and other close relationships, sharing ourselves with each other can nourish the experience of authenticity and intimacy, even help locate the missing pieces to the puzzle of our lives . Healing.


Sometimes the hardest story to tell may be your own but it can also help someone else find their voice


To tell our personal stories requires vulnerability. This is not always easy as genuine vulnerability requires risking disappointment and hurt. Sharing the negative narratives of our lives means entrusting those we invite to listen with our unique fears, insecurities, struggles, and pain. But the payoff can be great! It can mean the difference between sharing what’s happening in your life versus inviting someone into your life. It can reveal the difference between making it known that one is grappling with certain issues and knowing one is supported by someone really wanting to be there for both the struggle and story. And when the story is unique to one but also speaks to the other, you receive the gift of resonance: meaningful connection.

Willingness to stand within our own story -warts and all- takes guts. Allowing our partner to become the steward of our intimate thoughts even more-so. Taking risks on an emotional level helps bring about raw conversations about the things that really matter, enabling us to open to our truth within and to new possibilities, too. Empowerment. And, whenever love speaks and listens vulnerably, you already know you have a true love story.

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