March 05th, 2019

One of my favourite poems or literary works about love and marriage comes from a prophet by the name of Kahlil Gibran. He writes about the importance of couples coming together in love but not losing sight of who they are individually, and especially their own unique purpose: That people can come together in love and not lay all their expectations at each other’s feet, waiting for them to be fulfilled by the other. In my field we call this differentiation.  If truth be known, in our society, we valourize phrases  like "I  found my soul-mate" or “you complete me” and “my better half” much more than “stand together yet not too near together”.  Yet, the latter is a much more healthy option. Why? When we know who we are, and are able to stand on our own two feet, own our own thoughts and feelings and clearly express them to one another- without expressly  resorting to hurting each other- not only do we muster up the skill of authenticity, we also pave the road for living a life with more curiosity, meaning and compassion. I believe KG  really understood what it meant to be able to add to someone's life and to grow in marriage.