February 13th, 2018

It’s baaaaaack! Valentine’s Day is upon us! Love is in the air again! 


I don’t know about you but my inbox has been replete with cupids, candy, flowers and sexy lingerie ads ever since Xmas ended…‘tis yet another season for the urge to splurge, I believe- another opportunity to demonstrate our feelings for each other!  However, this time the stakes seem higher as the spotlight shines on romance, love, and desire. 


And, although joyfully anticipated by many couples as the official romantic holiday of the year, for many others February 14 is frowned upon as the commercialization of love or worse- the dreaded, socially-imposed scheduled day of pressure and disappointment- even heartbreak, loneliness and rejection.  Either way, whether we celebrate it or denounce it,  Valentine’s Day indelibly reminds us of love, relationships, passion, and, if partnered… our connection. 


Or lack of. 



Personally, I think few things in life are more important than enriching our relationships. I also think V-day can serve as a good reminder to re-evaluate -even remedy- our love partnerships, as in give our relationships a critical thinking over. Why? Because happy and healthy relationships are not self-sustaining and require continued effort. How? Mostly through gratitude and good communication, as in conversation.




                                                 Roses are Red, 
                                               Violets are Blue, 
                                         True Love Begins With 
                            Sharing What’s Important to YOU!




Conversations can actually help us stay on track, navigate challenges and reconnect with each other more consciously. In fact, when put to regular practice, holding conversations can pull us out of routine, ruts and complacency and even help refine and bring back creativity and curiosity to our couple life. 


Heartened by a new way of being


I often encourage my couples to begin their conversations by taking a sentimental snapshot of their relationship…you know, as in reflecting on the good times of our past. “Remember when…” is a great segue into a loving conversation. Or, if feeling stuck in your relationship, taking a look at how your relationship has changed by contemplating with your partner, “We’ve been stuck. I’ve noticed it and I think you have, too. We’re in a rut and I’m wondering how we got here”. The fact is that we all do have a history together, and if we take the time to remind ourselves of the journey, especially the happy times, we stand to increase our intimacy and work on our weak spots together, too. Intimacy is like a true knowing of both self and other. I think most of us want to experience this type of bond with our loved one.



So this year, instead of following the crowd, how about you skip the roses and chocolate, and make the day about your couple connection, as in talking and listening kindly to each other in conversation. It can be a sweet start to a rich dialogue and can lead to a whole new discovery about who you each are, what you long for and even help you make a heart-felt connection.




Perhaps this Valentine’s day, follow your heart, and get reacquainted instead. 

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