Happy 2014 Everyone! May this be a healthy & happy year for you !
And, welcome to my Love Blog:-).
Yes, I’ve taken Let’sTalkAboutLove to a whole new level. I really want to make this your “first stop- on-line” for the best possible information when it comes to love, sex, marriage and relationships! Most importantly, I want to add value to your life- I soooo believe in education and empowerment- but I also would love to hear back from you, as your thoughts are always important to me. So, please check out the “comments” section below, ok?
So, let’s blog about love already!
Did you know that my New Year resolutions rarely ever have to do with the typical ones like losing weight (that’s because I refuse to give up chocolate and wine) or making more money (and that’s because the more I make, the more I seem to spend) but almost always have to do with becoming a better human being (sounds cheesy, I know, but oh-so true:-) especially creating even better relationships with the people I love…and that’s because I believe LOVE is the answer to most of our problems. I believe Love- is what truly makes our life worthwhile and can truly heal and set us free- both on a personal as well as on a global level- but only when we allow ourselves to open up fully to Love. To quote one of my favourite authors: “Openness-the heart’s pure unconditional yes–is love’s essence” (John Welwood).
So, in keeping with quotes, the other day this one pops up in my inbox:
“I hold this to be the highest task of a bond between two people: that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other.” Rainer Maria Rilke
Don’t you just love it? I do, because for me, it truly exemplifies what love is- or should be- between two people, especially in loving relationships? And, it seems so peaceful.
Unconditional love. Allowing each person to be able to be who they want or need to be, without expecting them to be otherwise. A tall order for most relationships, wouldn’t you say? I mean seriously, ask yourself, how cool are you with your own levels of togetherness and separateness, one-ness vs. two-ness in your own relationship? Different feelings, thoughts, behaviours? Acceptance without Annoyance:-). Or Anxiety. Food for thought, huh?
I deal with this all the time in my work with couples. So, ask yourself: did you ever consider for a moment that when you hold expectations of how you “should be” as a couple, you may be robbing your partner of their uniqueness? Forcing them to be somebody else? Placing them into your own predictable and comfortable “box of life and love”? Especially if it’s an attempt at assuaging your own fears or insecurities? When you really think about it, expectations within relationships can be a form of control. By the way, have you ever realized that the moment we hold expectations of others, we potentially open ourselves to disappointment?
So, really, is this love? Or is it fear? Are we acting with love if we’re trying to get our partner to love us the way we think they should? Or, are we trying to control “love” because we feel insecure? Does love begin with us or the other?
I would love to know what you think and hope to hear from you soon….bye for now, Lydia